Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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