i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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