He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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