he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
