I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
