And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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