Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
