So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
