the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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