I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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