I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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