can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
