she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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