cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
