I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize