Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
