i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
