obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
two words...techno handjob
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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