I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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