I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
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