What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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