So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
