his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
