let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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