dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
