Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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