I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
