Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
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I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize