oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
