why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
