then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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