I puked a lego.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
