There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
