i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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