I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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