We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
