it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
