every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize