I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
