I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
