How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
