I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
