how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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