im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I didn't notice because vodka
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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