Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
