You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize