TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
