is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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