Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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