You're completely useless in the revolution.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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