suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
