Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
