some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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