he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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