I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
