I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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