This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Drunk is not a location!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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