Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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