During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
