i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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