Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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