so that wasnt chicken after all
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
