We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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