She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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